A Little Theological Light Verse

Regarding what follows below: I considered offering a little apologeia for theological light verse, but in the end I gave up.  You will either think that it is its own justification, or you will think that no justification is possible.  Either way, blathering on about why I do it seemed pointless and self-indulgent.  So without further ado, gentle reader, I give you a little theological light verse.


“The Bible’s all one book,” they said,
“So a word means the same in all places.”
“Abide in the ship or ye cannot be saved,”
Said I — and imagine their faces!


Predestined before the earth’s foundation
Long before any Scripture’s read:
Not just their souls; their interpretation’s
Predestined before the earth’s foundation.
Beware the children of the Reformation
If you would not have the meaning of “dead”
Predestined before the earth’s foundation
Long before any Scripture’s read.


When Calvin told Beza to heed to the text
Beza held fast ’til his life was all spent
But old Calvin slapped him when he got to heaven:
“The text of the Institutes ain’t what I meant!”


Predestinate terminology’s
The greatest hazard to the text
To ever rise.  Some always see
Predestinate terminologies
As antidotes to uncertainties,
Compared to the dangers of which, a perplexed,
Perdestinate terminology’s
The greater hazard.  To the text!


9 Responses to A Little Theological Light Verse

  1. Zoe says:

    Brilliantly funny. I’ll be chuckling for hours. Love it!

  2. Zoe says:

    And regarding it’s appropriateness, well I think you got your point across better this way. One of my favourite poets is an Aussie named Bruce Dawe. His writing is extremely powerfully in its use of irony, but taken literally, one could think he was insensitive and irreverent. His poem “And a Good Friday Was Had by All”, which is written from the viewpoint of a soldier nailing Christ to the cross, is a perfect example of that. Even the title is confronting. But that’s another story.

  3. Tim Nichols says:

    Thanks Zoe! This was fun; maybe I’ll get to write some more sometime.

  4. Jeremy Myers says:

    I LOVE these! I laughed and laughed.

    Of course, how do you know Calvin and Beza are in heaven? Ha ha!

  5. Tim Nichols says:


    You’re a bad, bad man, trying to provoke me like that….

    Thanks for your kind words.

  6. Bobby Grow says:


    I just posted this over at my site, we’ll see what folks have to say 🙂 .

  7. Bobby Grow says:

    So far, not a lot of feed-back. I’m curious, Tim, how do you handle concepts like predestination and election in the Text?

  8. Tim Nichols says:

    Just left you a response at your place, since that’s where such feedback as we’re getting is happening. See ya in a coupla days?

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