You, Naively Dead

A cop of my acquaintance once told me that most people don’t really go all-out when they’re “resisting arrest.” The way he described it, normal people have a kind of internal governor that kicks in when they know they screwed up. Sure, they’ll take a swing to save face, or try to get away, but at the end of the day they know they deserve to be in trouble, and it shows. There are, he said, two* major exceptions: hardened criminals with nothing to lose, and spoiled rich kids who simply can’t believe that a lowly cop has the right to lay hands on them. That spoiled rich kid tends to get really hurt, because he escalates without any appreciation for the consequences.

Various voices are encouraging you to be that spoiled rich kid. They want you to think that you can decide for yourself, right on the sidewalk, what a specific law enforcement officer is allowed to do. What orders they can give. Whether their agency’s jurisdiction requires your obedience.

That’s not how our system—or any legal system—works. In the moment, you comply under protest, and adjudicate the matter later in court. Trying to fight or flee is how you win an award of the Darwin variety. Look, I’m maybe better equipped than average for such an adventure. Against a handful of LEOs, at a moment’s notice, with whatever I got in my pockets that day? Forget it. I would not expect to survive. Whatever is going on, if it’s not worth that, I’m complying on the sidewalk, and we can sort it out in court later.

Should it be that way? Probably yes, but who cares? That’s a whole separate conversation. Lots of things should be some way. Healthcare should be transparently priced. Home builders should be allowed to build what the market wants. Unicorns should frolic in the median along the highway. The courtroom is a fine place for addressing what should be; on the sidewalk, we need to deal with what is.

The voices encouraging you to do a dumb on the sidewalk are knowingly putting you in harm’s way. I repeat, this is not an accident. You, naively dead, are politically useful. Your friends, radicalized by your untimely demise when you were “Only trying to [fill in whatever platitude]” are even more useful.

Me, I just don’t wanna go to your funeral yet. Please be an adult about this, and don’t play stupid games with use-of-arms professionals.

*A couple of LEO friends suggest a third category: people with particular kinds of mental health issues.

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